Cuprins
PART l. THE CONTEXT OF INTIMACY
l. AMERICAN MYTHS AND DREAMS
Learning Objectives
Myths About Family LifeWe've Lost the Extended Family
Opposites AttractPeople Marry Because They Love Each Other
Having Children Increases Marital SatisfactionA Good Sex Life Is the Best Predictor of Marital
SatisfactionHappily Married People Don’t Have Conflict
Half of All Marriages End In DivorceThe Dangers of Myths
Changing Patterns of Intimate Relationships
Premarital Sex
Births to Unmarried WomenLiving Alone
COMPARISON
Asian Women Are Marrying at a Later AgeCohabitation
Delayed MarriageBirth Rates
Household SizeEmployed Mothers
PERSONAL
“I Had to Go to Work”Divorce
A Concluding Note On Changing PatternsThe Family in Utopia
The Family in Utopian Writings
The Family in Utopian CommunitiesWhat Works Best?
What Do We Want? What Do We Need?
The Great Debate
Changes in Traditional ArrangementsWhat Do You Think?
Me or We?
Strengths and Benefits of Marriage and Family'Til Death?
A Note On TheorySystems Theory
Exchange TheorySymbolic Interaction Theory
Conflict TheoryTheory and Intimacy
SummaryKey Terms
INTERNET CONNECTIONAmerican Myths and Dreams
2. DIVERSITY IN FAMILIES
Learning Objectives
The Variability of Family LifeVariations Between Societies
Variations Within SocietiesThe Single-Parent Family
Extent of Single-Parent Families
Challenges of the Single-Parent FamilyCOMPARISON
Single Parents In IcelandThe Successful Single-Parent Family
PERSONAL
“I Chose To Do It Alone”Racial and Ethnic Minority Families
The African-American Family
The Hispanic FamilyThe Asian-American Family
The Interracial FamilyFamilies With Same-Sex Parents
What Do You Think?Problems In Gay and Lesbian Families
Intimacy In the Gay and Lesbian FamilyLong-Term Gay and Lesbian Relationships
Summary
Principles for Enhancing IntimacyKey Terms
INTERNET CONNECTIONDiversity in Families
3. GENDER ROLES: FOUNDATION FOR INTIMACY
Learning Objectives
Men and Women: How Do They Differ?Men and Women: Some Commonalities
Gender DifferencesSex, Gender, Gender Role, and Gender-Role Orientation
Gender Roles
Gender-Role OrientationWhat Do You Think?
Gender Roles: Nature Or Nurture?How Much Is Biological?
The Importance Of NurtureSocialization and Gender-Role Orientation
COMPARISON
Inuit Youth Learn To Be Males and FemalesChanging Gender Roles and Orientations
Changing Patterns
Lingering TraditionalismGender-Role Orientation: What Difference Does It Make?
Communication
Self-ConceptMental Health
Gender-Role Orientation and Intimacy
PERSONAL“We Worked It Out”
SummaryPrinciples for Enhancing Intimacy
Key TermsINTERNET CONNECTION
Gender Roles: Foundation for Intimacy4. SEXUALITY
Learning Objectives
The Meaning of SexHeterosexuality and Homosexuality
Sex As Physical: The Response CycleSex As Social Behavior
Unwanted and Coerced Sex
Sex and Intimate RelationshipsPERSONAL
Sex and the Search for IntimacyTeenage Sex
Extent of Sex Among Teenagers
Unwanted Pregnancy and Early ChildbearingContraception
Amount and Kinds of Contraceptive Use
Who Uses ContraceptivesAbortion
What Do You Think?Premarital Sex
The Double Standard
Changing AttitudesChanging Behavior
Sex In MarriageSexual Practices in Marriage
Sexual Satisfaction and Marital SatisfactionChanges in Marital Sex Over the Lifespan
Extramarital Sex
Why Extramarital Sex?
Some Consequences of Extramarital SexSexual Diseases and Dysfunctions
Sexual Diseases
Sexual DysfunctionsInhibited Sexual Desire
Safe SexCOMPARISON
Unsafe Sex In LesothoSummary
Principles for Enhancing IntimacyKey Terms
INTERNET CONNECTIONSexuality
PART 2. SEEKING INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS
5. GETTING TO KNOW SOMEONE ELSE
Learning Objectives
We Are Social CreaturesLoneliness
Fulfillment Through IntimacyPERSONAL
Searching for IntimacyThe Nature of Intimacy
The Meaning of Intimacy
Intimacy as an Exchange RelationshipIntimacy as Self-Sustaining
Meeting and Getting to Know Others
First Impressions
What Do You Think?
What Attracts?
COMPARISON
Mexican and United States Teens Portray Their IdealsAbout the Opposite Sex
Developing a Relationship
First Stage: Initial Meeting and Awareness
Second Stage: The Selection ProcessThird Stage: Developing Intimacy
Fourth Stage: Maintaining or Dissolving the RelationshipSummary
Principles for Enhancing IntimacyKey Terms
INTERNET CONNECTIONGetting to Know Someone Else
6. GETTING INVOLVED
Learning Objectives
Hanging Out and Hooking UpDating
Finding People To Date
Selecting a Dating PartnerFunctions of Dating
Patterns of DatingCOMPARISON
Commitment to Dating Partners in theU.S. and TaiwanDating Problems
Moving Beyond Dating
Moving Into a More Permanent Relationship
EngagementCohabitation
What Do You Think?Who Cohabits?
Patterns of CohabitationCohabitation Compared to Marriage
Cohabitation as a Preparation for MarriageBreaking Up
Who Breaks Up?
Responding to DeteriorationPERSONAL
The Birth, Life, and Death of a RelationshipStaying Single
Why People Are Single
Intimacy and Life SatisfactionSummary
Principles for Enhancing IntimacyKey Terms
INTERNET CONNECTIONGetting Involved
7. Falling In Love
Learning Objectives
The Meaning of LoveWhen You Fall In Love
The Process of Falling
How Can You Tell If It's Love?PERSONAL
Falling in Love–TwicePassionate Versus Companionate Love
The Emergence of Passionate Love
The Experience of Passionate LoveFrom Passionate Love To Companionate Love
What Do You Think?
Loving and LikingRubin's Love Scale
Love and FriendshipA Triangular Theory of Love
Styles of LovingSix Types of Lovers
Implications of Differing Styles of LovingLove Threatened--Jealousy
Who Is Most Jealous?
COMPARISON
Jealousy Among the Italians, Dutch, and New GuineansSituations That Provoke Jealousy
Consequences of JealousySummary
Principles for Enhancing IntimacyKey Terms
INTERNET CONNECTIONFalling in Love
8. Selecting A Life Partner
Learning Objectives
Is There a Best Way To Select a Life Partner?What We Expect In a Life Partner
COMPARISON
Looking for a Mate in IndiaQualities Desired in a Life Partner
Exchange and EquityNarrowing the Field: Assortative Mating
Life Partner Selection as a Filtering Process
AgeEthnic Background
RaceReligion
EducationPersonality
And So ForthWhy Assortative Mating?
Predictors of Marital Satisfaction
Timing
PERSONAL
Should I Marry My Baby’s Father?Equity
What Do You Think?
CommunicationPREPARE: A Multi-Factor Approach
A Final Caution
SummaryPrinciples for Enhancing Intimacy
Key TermsINTERNET CONNECTION
Selecting a Life PartnerPART 3. THE INTIMATE COUPLE
9. GETTING MARRIED
Learning Objectives
What Are Your Chances of Getting Married?Marital Status of the Population
Who Does, and Doesn't, Marry?Why Do People Marry?
The Need for Intimacy
Social ExpectationsWhat Do You Think?
Social Ideals and Personal Fulfillment
Desire for ChildrenMarriage as a Practical Solution
Types of Marriage
Classified by Lifestyles
Classified by Nature of the RelationshipsCOMPARISON
Types of Marriage in TogoExpectations
Our Private Contracts
Role ExpectationsNegotiation: Changing Personal Contracts
The Marriage Contract: Clarifying ExpectationsAdjusting To Marriage
His Marriage and Her Marriage
Starting With Two StrikesEstablishing Equity and Consensus
Adjustment and In-Law RelationshipsFirst Year Changes
PERSONALIn-Laws: The Good and the Bad
CommitmentThe Meaning of Commitment
The Role of CommitmentBuilding Commitment
Summary
Principles for Enhancing IntimacyKey Terms
INTERNET CONNECTIONGetting Married
10. THE CHALLENGE OF COMMUNICATION
Learning Objectives
The Nature of CommunicationVerbal Communication
Nonverbal CommunicationCommunication as an Interaction Process
A Discussion About Sex
Communication StaticCommunicating Feelings
Listening
Styles of Poor Listening
Improving Listening SkillsImpediments To Communication
Destructive Messages
What Do You Think?
Gender Differences As An Impediment
Why Husbands and Wives Don't Talk To Each OtherSatisfying Communication
PERSONALAll the Talk Was Useless
Communication, Marital Satisfaction, and IntimacyEveryday Conversations
Self-DisclosureCOMPARISON
Couple Talk in Brisbane and MunichOther Aspects of Communication
Improving Communication Skills
Rules
PracticeSummary
Principles for Enhancing IntimacyKey Terms
INTERNET CONNECTIONThe Challenge of Communication
11. POWER AND CONFLICT IN MARRIAGE
Learning Objectives
Power In MarriageThe Meaning of Power
Why Is Power Important?Sources of Power
COMPARISON
The Power of Egyptian Husbands and WivesWhat Do You Think?
Marriage as a Power StruggleTypes of Power Interaction
Conflict In Marriage
The Positive Functions of Conflict
The Negative Consequences of Severe ConflictWhat People Fight About
Sources of TensionStyles of Conflict
Good Fighting
Maintain Your Perspective
PERSONAL
Learning How to FightDevelop Tension Outlets
Avoid Festering Resentment
Be Sensitive To TimingCommunicate Without Ceasing
Be Flexible, Willing To CompromiseUse Conflict To Attack Problems, Not Your Spouse
Keep Loving While You Are FightingSummary
Principles for Enhancing IntimacyKey Terms
INTERNET CONNECTIONPower and Conflict in Marriage
l2. Work And Home
Learning Objectives
His Work and Her WorkChanging Patterns of Working
Women In the Labor Force
Married Women and EmploymentTypes of Dual-Career Families
Why Women Work Outside the Home
Home Versus the WorkplaceChallenges of Dual-Income Families
More Or Less Equal?
Who's Minding The House?COMPARISONS
Household Tasks and Equity in ChinaChildren and the Challenge of Child Care
The Costs of Both Parents WorkingWhat Do You Think?
Time Management
Role NegotiationSatisfactions of Dual-Income Families
Marital Satisfaction
Other BenefitsPERSONAL
Employed and Married, and Loving BothWork and Well-Being
Life Satisfaction
Mental and Physical HealthCoping Strategies
Summary
Principles for Enhancing IntimacyKey terms
INTERNET CONNECTIONWork and Home
PART 4. INTIMACY IN FAMILIES
l3. BECOMING A PARENT
Learning Objectives
Changing Patterns of Child-BearingBirth Rates
Preferences For Size and SexTo Bear Or Not To Bear
Why People Want To Have Children
The Child-Free OptionPERSONAL
To Be a Parent? The Agonies of the DecisionInvoluntary Childlessness
Infertility
Coping With InfertilityOptions For the Infertile
Artificial Insemination
In Vitro FertilizationSurrogate Mothers
AdoptionWhat Do You Think?
Children and the Quality of LifeThe Stresses of Raising Children
Children and Marital SatisfactionThe Satisfactions of Raising Children
Parenting: Her Experience and His Experience
Her Experience
His ExperienceCOMPARISONS
On the Playground in France, Germany, and ItalyParenting and the Well-Being of Children
Styles of Parenting
Types of DisciplineParental Behavior and Children’s Adjustment
Parental Behavior and Self-EsteemA Final Note: Is Older Better In Parenting?
Summary
Principles for Enhancing IntimacyKey Terms
INTERNET CONNECTIONBecoming a Parent
14. THE FAMILY LIFE CYCLE
Learning Objectives
The Family Life CycleThe Meaning of the Family Life Cycle
What Changes Over the Family LIfe Cycle?Social Change and the Family Life Cycle
The Newly Married: A Family Without Children
What Do You Think?The Family With Young Children
The Family At Midlife: Adolescents and Aging ParentsThe Needs of Adolescents
Parent-Child ProblemsEmerging Adulthood
Caring For Aging ParentsThe Couples' Midlife Concerns
Satisfaction at MidlifeThe Launching and Empty Nest Stage
The Couple Together Again
PERSONAL
An Empty-Nest HighGrandparenthood
The Aging Family
Retirement
Marital RelationsCOMPARISON
Caring for Elderly Family Members on MaloOther Relationships
Death of a SpouseSummary
Principles for Enhancing IntimacyKey Terms
INTERNET CONNECTIONThe Family Life Cycle
PART 5. CHALLENGES TO INTIMACY
15. FAMILY CRISES
Learning Objectives
Sources of Family CrisesStress and Crisis
Stressor EventsAbuse of Alcohol and Other Drugs In the Family
Extent of Drug Abuse
Drug Abuse and the Quality of Family LifeFamily Problems and Drug Abuse
Violence In Families
The Extent of Violence
Child AbuseIncest
Spouse AbuseWhat Do You Think?
Parent Abuse
COMPARISON
Intimate Partner Abuse in CanadaConsequences of Abuse
Reacting To Crises
Coping PatternsIneffective Coping Patterns
The Foundation of Effective CopingTools For Effective Coping
PERSONAL
Things Were Terribly StillSummary
Principles for Enhancing IntimacyKey Terms
INTERNET CONNECTIONFamily Crisis
16. SEPARATION AND DIVORCE
Learning Objectives
Divorce TrendsDivorce Rates
Changing Grounds For DivorceWhat Do You Think?
The Process of UncouplingToward Marital Dissolution
The Six Stations of DivorceCauses and Correlates of Divorce
Sociodemographic Factors
Interpersonal FactorsCOMPARISONS
Divorce, Japanese StyleEffects of Divorce on Spouses/Parents
Positive Outcomes
Health ProblemsFinancial Problems
PERSONAL
My Whole World Was LostInteraction Between Former Spouses
Effects of Divorce On Children
Short-Term Effects
Long-Term EffectsGender Differences
Child Custody
Coping With the DisruptionSummary
Principles for Enhancing IntimacyKey Terms
INTERNET CONNECTIONSeparation and Divorce
17. REMARRIAGE AND STEPFAMILIES
Learning Objectives
Types and Number of Remarriages and StepfamiliesTypes of Remarried Couples
Demographics of Remarriage and StepfamiliesDeja Vu: Dating and Mate Selection Revisited
Why Remarry?Issues In Recoupling
The Myths of Remarriage
The Challenges of RemarriagePERSONAL
“My Husband's First Wife Is Straining My Marriage”The Quality of Remarried Life
COMPARISONS
Repartnering in AustraliaLiving In a Stepfamily
What Do You Think?The Stepfamily Life Cycle
The Structure of the Stepfamily
Stepparents and StepchildrenFamily Functioning
Making It Work
SummaryPrinciples for Enhancing Intimacy
Key TermsINTERNET CONNECTION
Remarriage and StepfamiliesGlossary
ReferencesCredits
Index