WARNING: Reading any of the following material may be hazardous to your mental health. This literary hodgepodge is insulting, irreverent, and often very nasty. If you can't handle that please read no further. Parts of this trilogy were started in January of 2000 and for better or worse were my first attempts at writing. They feature the cartoon character called Montana Schwartz, who I often refer to as my alter ego. In spite of the sardonic nature of these writings I believe there is a lot of truth to what is written, and some philosophical lessons to be learned.