The first time my son came to me I recall I wakened to look up and see nothing but a headless body with legs dangling from the ceiling above my bed. There was no face only darkness, no colours, black. I screamed so loud it hurt inside my own lungs. I recall since that night he came to me more and more often in the exact same way leaving me feeling exhausted and drained. I wanted him to stop coming to me, for I could hear him say '' help me, mum, i do not know what has happened to me, where am I'' This feeling of loss he was sharing with me I also felt too, I believe because I am his Mother, and after life it still goes on. I recall he kept on asking me '' where am I, help me, help me, '' This tore me apart for I knew he could not return, I could not tell him in fear I would hurt him more, even though I knew he was dead and not coming back. I felt his spirit still lived on. The months passed by with his continual visits, nothing had changed, he would not let go, of trying to return home again. I too could not let go, for I too wanted him back home with me, me were both stuck in a world where there was no end. One night when he once again came to me, I wakened the rest of the household with my constant screams, I knew something had to be done, I could not take it any more, neither could the spirit of my son. He needed to go and live in his after life now and I needed to help him do this for us both. I did not know what to do to begin this process of letting him go, nor did he. I began by talking to him when he appeared, instead of screaming and having nothing to say to him, I began by saying '' would you mind not visiting me during the This is a true story based on facts with clever imaginative scenario used to add to the whole experience of this Journey through loss of a child. You shall relate to every emotion from Sadness, Guilt, Regret, Laugher and Happiness. This book has been updated with English Poetry extracts from A Mothers Loss 1 & 2 Bereavement tragic death of loss of a child is shared throughout this journey through Grief. Family relationships break down friends move on and leave Rosie behind to find her own way. Parenting skills were never her strong point she soon had to learn how to bring up a baby by learning through books and other resources. She shares the hottest day of the year in 1973 the day her wee Laddie was born, to her own child hood days from the 60's with you.All the fun of the fair the theme of this story is themed around Scotland. Livingston, Edinburgh Forth Road Bridge Railway bridge, Kirkcaldy Fife, Angus, North Scotland. Bird ringer talks of Birds found in Scotland from Great tits to golden crest, yellow hammer and more. Rosie talks about her sons resting place and how she want to dig down and bring her son back up from the grave once again. The Autoharp she purchased from Ebay she learns to play to console her thoughts of her son. She talks about Orkney and the Ferry hopping trips she took from the island of Hoy. Her painting craft and how she enjoyed when her son always looked on and ripped open a new canvas just waiting on her adding her first brush strokes. The work she did for many years how she missed not being a part of it anymore. Creative and a talented artist and Poet and musician and dancer she describes in detail how she danced the nights away in Edinburgh city, learning modern jive. Bereavement and Grief raises ugly demons as Anxiety, Depression, Panic attacks. Thai-Chi becomes one of her passions to help her overcome her fears of the darkness and panic. Self help aids she discovers from learning from others like herself which has gives her great relief from her negative mental health. Positive actions bring about motivation to escape from the deep dark hole she finds herself in.