Indian culture poses so many questions for me and you. Why do Asian women collect, store and deal in plastic tupperware boxes as if they are high risk narcotics? Why are we never on time? Why is it that we are so fixated on building 15 foot storey palatial extensions to our homes? By the beard of Zeus can someone please explain to me why "Saag" tastes better the next day? Why can't non-Asian people pronounce Indian names? What's even more amazing is, why do Asian people make up unrelated surreal English names instead?! Why can't Indian people pronounce words which have the letter "v" in it? Why do Indian people boast or pretend that they know everybody? I mean everybody! Why is it that no matter how well you did at school, your parents said that you could have always done better? These are just some of the mysteries of Indian culture that have baffled and frustrated me all my life. In this book are my personal thoughts and theories in figuring out why it is that I have 350 tins of baked beans under my bed ("just in case" according to my mums bulk shopping theory) and why I have come to embrace and sarcastically smile that this real Indian culture is what we can all relate to.