From high fashion, with pantyhose at mid-thigh and condiments adorning my hair, to a career as a nurse and housewife, with buckets o' brains and vomit in my shoes, Never Borrow Your Mother's Pantyhose chronicles the mishaps and misadventures which seem to spontaneously erupt in my presence. What start out as average, ordinary days are turned into chaotic catastrophes. Never Borrow Your Mother's Pantyhose is a series of short humorous anecdotes which span my early disastrous attempts at cooking to my current disastrous attempts at doing laundry. Never Borrow Your Mother's Pantyhose is loaded with information ranging from how to vacation with ungrateful and obnoxious children to coloring your hair and not looking like Pepe Le Pew. Along my journey of life, I have discovered that as much as I tried to start every day with certain attainable goals, what I didn't realize is that real life has a way of throwing a monkey wrench into your daily plans, and instead of my quest to be like June Cleaver, I discovered I was closer to June, with a cleaver.