Is he sweater-worthy? According to Judith Durant no man deserves a sweater until the relationship has progressed to the level of long-term commitment. It’s just too risky to put all that time and effort and love into a knitted garment for a man who might be long gone by thetime the sweater actually looks like a sweater.

But knitters do want to make soft, warm things for the people they love — new boyfriends included. So what is the proper project for the it’s been-four-dates-and-we’re-having-a-great-time guy? The Dinner Date Scarf, customized with the colors of his favorite sports team, doesn’t scare him with thoughts of commitment but does give him something warm he’ll be happy to wear to football games.

Simple, shaped projects should be saved for more serious, exclusive relationships. Mittens, socks, and hats are all perfect for that semi-committed phase — they require a little more time and effort but can be quickly dropped if things don’t work out after all. Only when the ring is in hand should work begin on the merino/cotton blend Half-Zip Pullover, a classic, not-too-heavy sweater he will wear for years.

Knit items are excellent gifts for men; they just have to be given at the appropriate time. With Never Knit Your Man a Sweater Unless You’ve Got the Ring, Durant not only warns stitchers about appropriate project-to-relationship ratios, she offers 22 of the smartest patterns available for men’s clothing and accessories.