The BetchesLoveThis blog is wildly popular, with catchphrases and posts repeated all over the Internet. Now, you can laugh out loud while getting answers to life's greatest questions-from the benefits of dancing on tables to how to get rid of the man who won't go away-from the straightforward, slightly-mean-spirited-yet-helpful older sister you didn't know you had.

The Betches are here to explain it all-how to combine the hotness of Kate Moss with the wit of Chelsea Handler and the f**k-off vibe of Anna Wintour to become the ultimate Betch. So is this a self-help book, you might wonder? No. Self-help is for fat people and divorcees. Nice Is Just a Place in Franceis the Betch-in-training bible, addressing the types of problems real girls face in the real world, like, "What do I do if my pot dealer isn't answering my texts?" and "Is it okay to give head on the first date?" In short, how to deal with your problems when you have no problems.