This is the story of Noel who lost Maris, his beloved wife of 42 years, to suicide following years of struggling with depression. The abrupt ending of a life by suicide can be the most catastrophic of events for those left behind. Survivors experience intense pain and massive guilt. Grief banishes survivors to a place so removed from the normal hurly-burly of everyday life that they feel close to madness. Somehow they have to claw their way back. Noel accepted there was no way around his anguish and met suffering head on. His pain allowed him to discover the richness within him and to grow in wisdom which he hopes might be of benefit to others. Maris' death did not shut her out of Noel's life. She remains a very real presence. This is a love story with a difference. 'An involving account of the devastation, guilt and pain commonly experienced by people bereaved by suicide. It is a moving love story and a tale of resilience, offering reassurance and a sense of hope to others similarly bereaved.' - Barbara Hocking, OAM Executive Director, SANE Australia 'Noel Braun gives us the honour of travelling his suicide grief journey after the loss of his beloved wife Maris. He lets us walk with him and understand the devastation that suicide brings and his road of learning to find hope again.' - Michelle Linn-Gust, PhD., President-Elect, American Association of Suicidology 'Noel takes us into his innermost thoughts, feelings and emotions as he describes, with incredible love and candour, 'losing' his Maris. Noel's story is immensely powerful and the depth and duration of his grief is testament to his enduring love for Maris.' - Kate Friis, Counsellor and Psychotherapist