Howard (Call me 'Walt') Johnson returns to New England after more than a decade in the Mideastern wilderness in one last almighty attempt to untangle his twisted family tree. He's drowning in a dyslexic gene pool that includes red-blooded bluebloods and the original Adams family. He's also connected to a humble Armenian immigrant who apparently left his homeland in disgrace after killing a man. Fuelled by his own black belt in 'tongue-fu', Walt's epic voyage of self-discovery soon threatens to derail as his articles for the local newspaper attract threatening phone calls, angry protests and shadowy figures tailing him night and day. As his professional and personal worlds collide, the ensuing chaos threatens to swamp Walt, his family, his hometown and even the town's most prized unnatural asset - the not-so-great lake with the alphabet soup name...