Who would you rather go into battle with, some West Point genius who's read every book on warfare but never actually seen a battle, or General Patton? Likewise, if you're trying to use the internet to meet girls, you don't want some psychology professor or Dear Abby columnist giving you advice- all they know is what they've read out of a textbook or seen in a Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan movie. You want your advice from someone who's been in the trenches (no, that's not a euphemism- okay, it sort of is); someone who's succeeded, failed, and learned from those failures to succeed some more. So go ahead, read those books written by 60-year-old PhDs who've slept with three girls and have to get help from their kids to check their email- I'm sure they're experts on the psychology of internet dating. Or listen to the old woman who'll advise you to "be confident" and "be yourself," or my personal favorite, "ask her questions about herself- we love to talk about ourselves, just make sure you listen." Hey lady, you want to go ahead and shut the hell up? This isn't a Hugh Grant movie. The main focus of this book is to help you avoid looking like every other schmuck on the internet. 99.5% of guys try the same lame-ass tactics and have no idea how they come across to the chicks they're hoping to give it to. Do you have any idea how many messages these girls get? You may think you do, but you're not even close. I know because I created profiles posing as a hottie and got bombarded with emails, winks, instant messages, and everything else you can imagine. Can I guarantee I can get you laid? Hell no. What I'm guaranteeing is that I'll dramatically improve your chances- help you get your foot in the door. If you want to get another part of your body into a different location, ultimately that's up to you. And it also helps that in addition to being informative, this book is pretty damn funny- beat that, Dear Abby. Just remember- I can lead you to water, but I can't make it have sex with you.