The moment I saw the blood coming from his penis, I immediately dissociated to the core of me where there was a beast hibernating, and the eye opened for the first time. I imagine it's like the first hit of a crack pipe such a high that there's no fear or judgment. Just freedom of darkness, raw rage and flesh. All became still, a purposeful passion of calmness. I could feel the submission as he pulled my head towards the monster in his pants. I started transitioning out of the terror until my inner child stood up and said no more. She reached out of my victim mentality into reality and grabbed the scissors. I had finally slain the beast, but it had to awaken mine first to fight. Something's growing inside of me I can feel its heart's rhythm taking over mine. The seed that was planted so long ago, inside the seed planted in my mother's, and her maternal womb. I am due to give birth to me, my child, my blood, my gift, my purpose, my innocence, my love in color. Wet secrets that pour over life's canvas that dry to become the light. For nurturing the seeds that feel like they can't see beyond their shells suffocating in their own soul. My hearts fragrances I've given permission to catch even the tiniest breeze. There's power in allowing yourself permission to heal, again to grow then over and over again to flourish."