Out of Your Comfort Zone: Breaking Boundaries for a Life Beyond Limits

Emma Mardlin, Ph.D., is a clinical therapist and founding partner in The Pinnacle Practice. Internationally renowned for her work as an author, trainer, and practicing clinician in London and Nottingham, she has profoundly changed the lives of many once plagued by intense fears, phobias, life limitations, and anxiety. The author of Mind Body Diabetes Type 1 and Type 2, she lives in Nottingham, UK.

Chapter 5
Mind-set Mastery

Mind-set is everything. It determines our character, the paths we choose, and the results we get in life. Adopting the components below, resources throughout this book, and your own great individualism, you’ll always ensure an indestructible mind-set fit for maximum success, whatever challenges life may bring.

An incredible example of this and some of the key components discussed in this chapter is, Tommy Wiseau; producer, director, star and financier of the 2003 film ‘The Room’. A film described by many as the worst movie ever. However Tommy was so set on being a famous actor, despite everything, his sheer mind-set and belief system ensured success with being “The Greatest Bad Movie Ever”, making a truly fabulous story now widely known and depicted in the 2007 film ‘The Disaster Artist’. Tommy knew want he wanted, and he got it!

After reading this chapter, you can check out an interview with Seth Rogen on the U.S show ‘Late Night with Seth Meyers’ talking about ‘The Disaster Artist’, which he starred in. He describes Tommy’s character, which will reinforce exactly why the points you read in this chapter, seriously make all the difference!

The Components of an Indestructible Mind-Set

Know That You Are Always in Control of Your Own Mind and Body

If you know that you are in control of your own mind, you’ll also know that you are equally in control of the results you get. Although people may often try to control how we think, ultimately, we are always in control of this by what we choose to accept, think and act upon.

An important question here is, if you’re not in control of your own mind, who is? If we take personal responsibility for everything we do, we will always be empowered to change things to how we want them. But if we look for external reasons as to why we haven’t got the results we want, we immediately lose any power to take control and positively change things.

Remember: Reasons equate to being a victim, whereas self-responsibility equates to change and results.

Whilst there are always seemingly external factors beyond our control, we can always take charge of our own mind and control and we think and what we do, which incidentally will also bring the external under control in-line with our core deep-seated beliefs (see below). Reading this book is great proof that you can take control to make positive changes in your life - internally and externally. Keep going and it will come!

Maintaining a ‘State of Excellence’, Irrespective of what might be going on

When talking about maintaining a ‘state of excellence’, I’m referring to controlling what’s going on inside in order to control the way we externally look, behave, and respond, thus the results we ultimately get.

This also includes the message we give off to others around us. If we stay conscious about positively maintaining our inner thought process to maintain an inner resourceful state, despite being tired, stressed, or whatever else we are dealing with, we will always be able to manage things better and get the best results possible. The most successful people in the world - be they presidents, emergency service personnel, or Olympic medallists - maintain a ‘state of excellence’, psychologically and therefore physically, which allows them to achieve distinction in what they do.

Take Lizzi Yarnold, the British Gold Medalist in the 2018 Winter Olympics Skeleton event, as a great example. Just before her race she was suffering from a bad chest infection - struggling to breathe and partake in practise runs, with it looking unlikely she could race. However, with great courage and motivation she took the decision to go out and give it her all anyway. It just so happens she won Gold.

Never Be Afraid of Change

We can all change as much as we want to change - when we do, we’ll also notice the world around us simultaneously changing, too. Without change, we can’t expect to get different results. Positive change is fundamental to life and moving forward. Scientist Albert Einstein summed this up perfectly. ‘The definition of insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting different results’. On which note, you’ll know when it’s time to act and positively change things for the best results.

Change is one of the greatest fears people deep down have that holds them back. It’s not always comfortable and it often involves uncertainty (Certainty being a psychological human need), hence we can easily feel out of our comfort zone when it comes to change. However it is what pushes us forward. If we change, everything around us changes too, including the results we get. And in any case, if something doesn’t produce the results we like, we can often change it again until we ultimately get what we want.

Positively Programme Your Mind from the Outset

Before starting our day it’s important to:

Take a few minutes after we wake up to really think about what we want from the day ahead (our outcome for the day rather than just the same old or moseying on).
What do we want to happen?
What do we want to achieve?
What has to happen for us to achieve this?

What can we do today to take steps towards achieving our ultimate goal? When thinking about these questions, get into a relaxed and focused state (as suggested in chapter 3). Accompany this by taking in some deep breaths through the nose and out through the mouth, energizing your mind and body for the day ahead. Strongly visualize these things and even say them aloud: What is going to happen today? What do I have to do to put this into action? Then believe it and take action. For more details on working effectively with Goals and Outcomes see Chapter Seven, driving direction.

Introduction: Pushing Personal Boundaries

1 The Zone Test: Determining Your Comfort Zone Level Right Now
The Zone Test
The Zone Chart

2 What’s the Big Idea?
The Staple Seven to Successful Results
The 30-Day Resilience-Builder Challenges

3 Understanding Fear and Why It Resides in All of Us
The Only Two Emotions in the World
The Cognitive Behavioural Cycle
Where Does Fear Come From?

4 Baby Steps: The All-Important Steps to a Firm Foundation
Your Essential Toolkit
Changing How You Think
Habitual Thinking and Changing Those Habits

5 Mindset Mastery
The Components of an Indestructible Mindset
The 25 Markers of a Zone-Zero Personality

6 Breaking Boundaries: Ultimately Releasing Fear and Anxiety
A Game of Hide and Seek
Anxiety and Mistaken Identity
Anxiety-Busting
The Emotional Extraction Work
Eat Away Your Fear

7 Determining Direction Getting What You Want Making Your Life GREAT™

8 Reaching Zone Zero and Daring to Let Go
The “Yes” Universe
Developing Self-Awareness
The Intuition Indicators
The Practical before the Quantum
Entering the Quantum - A No-Comfort-Zone Area

9 Retaking the Zone Test
The Action List

10 The Final Word

Sorting Any Bumps in the Road

Resources and References

About the Author

“I seriously pushed my boundaries and found great inspiration from reading Mind Body Diabetes and then reading Emma’s second book Out of Your Comfort Zone. I found it a powerful and enlightening read in somany ways, the perfect resource taking me to new and exciting heights with my life in general. A truly excellent book for whatever stage of life you’re at, with whatever fears or holdbacks you may have.”
“Seeing Dr. Em and applying everything in this book, I’ve learned how to step out of my comfort zone and seriously break boundaries to experience an amazing life that was once unimaginable, given my severe traumatic anxiety. From being told I’d always be on antidepressants to now being medication-free, I’m a happy, healthy, and successful 23-year-old. Thank you so much. A brilliant read encapsulating everything!”
“Having experienced life at my lowest ebb, to the extent I was ready toend it all, I can say 100 per cent that Em made an enormous differencein the way I saw life. Without all her help--basically everything she’s putin this book--and her natural manner to add a certain sense of humourand solution in even the darkest times, I would have been pushed overthe edge. Thanks to all our work I’m a totally different person from that time and for sure out of my comfort zone, pushing new boundaries likeyou wouldn’t believe! Thank you so much.”