Please Turn Out the Northern Lights When You Leave

Here's a sampling of what they've found:

"You say you like salmon? Not only were there mounds of frozen fillets, there were countless jars of preserved salmon, each in its own mason jar and carefully documented as to where and when the fish was caught."

"Hold on there. I know what you're thinking what with all these untold thousands of Elvis impersonators running around hither and yon ripping off the King. With all that firmly in hand, I have no hesiation in telling you that this had to be Elvis, no doubts whatsoever."

"At this point you might as well be asking the same question I was pondering: what's the general route these salmon have to take to get home."