This is a small, illustrated jokebook filled with puns (rated for everyone) on film and song titles. It is compiled from Twitter(TM) threads added to by credited contributors from around the world, and the only rule is that they can't be real titles. It's surprising how many people have the same dreadful sense of humour. Here are some examples: #bodypartfilms: "Lobe, Actually," #laundrysongs: "Papa Don't Bleach," #kitchenhorrormovies: "Village Of The Jammed," #furnituresongs: "Deskerado," #poultrymovies: "Buffy, The Vampire Layer," #maternityfilms: "3:10 To You're A Ma," #kitchensongs: "Bake Another Little Piece Of My Tart," #dogsongs: "It Mastiff Been Love," and #scaryclothingmovies: "The Purse of Frankenstein." Threads can be added onto very quickly, but after a few days of neglect they disappear. The ones in this book have been preserved, like figs, the rotten ones discarded, and the good ones set up in jars with judiciously-added cartoons. If you like figs, or figgy pudding, you may find this book to your taste. Any profits from this book will be split between tweeters and artists.