This book is a compilation of my experiences while working as a "redneck" engineer for the oil field. I started my engineering career in 1979 when I began working directly for a very large oil service company along the Gulf Coast off the shores of Texas and Louisiana. By 1996, I had been working as an independent consultant for many years. I worked all along the Gulf Coast--the creme de la creme of the oilfield--and ventured into the California and Rocky Mountain areas. My wife says that I am the most politically incorrect person she has ever known. As you read this work, you will see that I make fun of many things and many different people. But also know, as she does, that I never mean to hurt anyone's feelings intentionally. I have real friends who live all across the world and are from many different religions and races. Hell, I even have friends who have had the misfortune to have been born in California; or who were educated at Texas A&M or LSU, and I even have friends who are from other bastions of cultic perspectives. If my language and attitde offends, it is not intentional (and, besides, I don't really give a damn).