If you want to laugh a lot, this book is for you "Road Reading For Truckers Eyes Only" is packed full of hilarious reading material for over-the-road truck drivers. Driving a truck and hauling a heavy load is hard work. It takes dedicated and skilled professional truck drivers to drive at all hours of the day, over all types of roads, and in all types of weather conditions to deliver the freight and the other things that we all need in our daily lives. It is to these dedicated, honest and hard working truck drivers all across America that this book is dedicated in the hope that it can bring some laughter and comfort at the end of a long day on the road. Inside this book you'll find a hilarious collection of jokes about old truckers, including a poem. Other humorous sections in this book include: You're a Trucker When;Things Truckers Dream About; You're Getting Older When; a unique "ON TIME" Delivery Calendar; 12-steps to change Oil & Filter on a truck; and much, much, more On the more serious side, there is a section on "Pearls of Wisdom For The Road." Here are a few examples from the book: Randy Roofsheet, a retired trucker, went to his doctor and said: "Doc, I think I'm getting senile. Several times lately, I have forgotten to zip up." "That's not senility," replied the doctor. "Senility is when you forget to zip down." Karl Kingpin, an old trucker, shuffled into a truckstop and slowly and painfully pulled himself up on the counter and ordered a banana split. After catching his breath, the waitress then said kindly, "Crushed nuts?" "No, replied the old trucker, I've got Arthritis " Carl Cabover, a retired trucker, attended a reunion with some of his old trucking friends at a truckstop but found that his surviving friends only wanted to talk about their various ailments - heart conditions, liver problems, kidney stones, and other conditions. When Carl got back home, his wife asked him how the reunion went. "It wasn't so much a reunion," he said, "It was more like an organ recital " Contributor To This Book Special thanks to Frank S. (Shift Fast) Fifthwheel who contributed his vast knowledge and many years of experience in trucking to help make this book possible. Frank S. (Shift Fast) Fifthwheel was born in a sleeper cab somewhere between Memphis, Tennessee and Los Angeles, California. The exact date and time of his birth and the mile marker location are unknown. Mr. Fifthwheel has very deep roots in trucking. His mother was the former Karen Kingpin, an owner operator for 12 years before she met Frank's father, Frank C. (Cabover) Fifthwheel, Sr. After their marrriage in a double rig ceremony, Mrs. Fifthwheel sold her 18-wheeler and began running double with her husband. Trucks and trailers played a major role in young Fifthwheel's life, especially in his right arm. He cranked his first landing gear up and down at age 4 and by age 10 had beaten his father in a 13-speed gear shifting contest at a truck stop in Nebraska where he was given the middle name of "Shift Fast." At age 18 Frank answered the call of the open road in his own 18-wheeler and logged over three million accident-free miles before an injury to his shifting arm forced his early retirement from trucking and launched his career in writing. Today he and his wife, the former Connie Crossmember, and their two dogs, Buckplate and Siderail, live in a converted dry freight van behind an abandoned truck stop in West Memphis, Arkansas. Also special thanks to Roof Bow and Side Sheet, my two 4-legged companions who spent many hours under my feet deciding which pages of the manuscript would be eaten outright and which pages would be eaten after I had edited them. Pearce W. Hammond, Author You Don't Stop Laughing When You Grow Old. You Grow Old When You Stop Laughing