James Ashleigh was happy. He was doing what he loved. Sailing the oceans but having plenty of opportunities to take part in the ritual of the chase, as Bill his friend called the pursuit of women. Life became even more pleasant when James met Maria at a party on a ship called the "Beaver " in port in Helsinki. Now he thought he had everything. A life at sea, the anticipation of arriving in Helsinki and love making like he had never know before. Then unexpectedly came his son, at first a question mark over his happiness but finally accepted. For reasons which James did not fully understand, Maria did not want to marry but after a long separation while James sailed to places other than Helsinki, they decided to get married and his happiness was now complete.Then came that night, after making love on the ship, when the car crashed on the way home to see his son and Maria was gone. Life now became a burden. The question was what was James to do about his son? James abandons his former life and hides away from his friends .He began what he thought of later as his descent into hell. Drink became his comfort, women were to be taken brutally when the chance arose with no ideas of forming steady relationships. No matter what advise from his worried friends offered, James hid himself away and tried to forget about Maria and his son. One day in a night club he met Henri, a friend of his best mate's wife June. June, who he had virtually raped one day when she came to try to help him recover his self respect but even that had not stopped her attempts to comfort him. Henri changed his life. This is the story of James' rise to happiness when life seemed perfect, his descent into unbearable grief and his final redemption in the arms of Henri. It is the story of how one man reacts to the end of all he holds dear in his life, how even in the depths of his despair, he still finds people who care even if he did not and of the final acceptance that life is for the living. While not forgetting the dead, James realises he must look to the future.