Score Like Agent Zero
Autor Gilbert Arenas, DJ Galloen Limba Engleză Hardback – 2010
I went from zero to hero. In fact, I went from zero to hero to Agent Zero.
Who knows where this information will take you! Look where I am, and I didnΣt have the advantage of having all this imparted to me in a book.
Want to learn how to stay motivated each and every day of your life?
Want to learn the best way to shoot a free throw?
Want to learn how to speak to a woman like Agent Zero?
All these answersηand many othersηare inside.
My book is stuffed full of stories, tips, and anecdotes that will make you think, make you laugh, and make you cry (hopefully from laughter). I like to enjoy my life, and I think you will enjoy my book.
If you are a longtime Gilbert Arenas fan, buy this book. If you are or know a sports fan, buy this book. If you are hot and in need of a fan, buy this book and wave it back and forth in front of your face on the way up to the cash register to buy it.
Score Like Agent Zero is conversational, sometimes controversial, and always laugh-out-loud funny. I canΣt guarantee that this book will help you score sixty points, but it will allow you to score an all-access pass into my mind and to the secrets behind my success.
All the information is in here. I wrote the book. Now you just have to read it.
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Specificații
ISBN-10: 0345506472
Pagini: 224
Ilustrații: LINE ART T/O, 8PG 4C INS
Greutate: 0.46 kg
Editura: Random House Publishing Group
Colecția Ballantine Books
Notă biografică
Gilbert Arenas attended the University of Arizona, where he led the 2001 Wildcats to the NCAA Championship game. Drafted by the Golden State Warriors, Arenas relocated to the Washington Wizards, where he has established himself as one of the leagueΣs premier point guards. Arenas is active off the court with his two children, his Zer0 2 Her0 charity foundation, his blog, Agent Zero: The Blog File (winner of the 2007 Weblog Award for Best Celebrity Blog), and his many endorsement deals.
DJ Gallo is a featured columnist for ESPN.comΣs ¬Page 2‾ and the author of The View from the Upper Deck: SportsPickle Presents the Funniest Collection of Sports Satire Ever. A contributor to ESPN The Magazine, Gallo is a featured weekly guest on ESPNews and appears regularly on the ESPN Radio network. He is the founder and sole writer of the sports satire site SportsPickle.com, and his work has appeared in The Onion. DJ Gallo lives in Los Angeles.
Extras
How to score LIKE Agent Zero
I wanted this book to come out last year. Sometimes comebacks take a little bit longer than theyΣre supposed to, I guess. IΣm sure John Travolta wanted to become Mr. Big Movie Star again when Look WhoΣs Talking Now came out, but he had to wait until Pulp Fiction. ThatΣs just the way it goes sometimes.
I wanted to be back in the flow last year. I mean, in my three consecutive All-Star seasons I missed only twelve games combined. The last two seasons, right in the prime of my twenties, IΣve only played in fifteen games combined.
If youΣre holding this book in your hands, you probably already know about the three surgeries I had over the course of just seventeen months. You know about your friends getting pissed off that they chose me high in their fantasy leagues only to have to later put me on waivers. You know that my blog on NBA.com was the most must-read item that any athlete was putting out there, way before Shaquille OΣNeal ever even knew what Twitter was.
But you donΣt know what I went through last year. I didnΣt blog. I hardly spoke to the media. I went from being the Dom Pérignon toast of the party to the face on the side of the milk carton.
Have you seen Gilbert Arenas? Where has Agent Zero gone?
The truth is, this book might never had come out if it wasnΣt for a string of good luck that has gotten me back on track. Who would want to read self-help advice from a retired player who couldnΣt even make it through six full seasons in the NBA?
ThatΣs right. Me. Retired.
Mentally, I was at the lowest of my career. I had almost given up because, in my mind, IΣd had surgery after surgery after surgery and rehab stint after rehab stint after rehab stint and I still wasnΣt getting any better. The first injury was in April 2007. I played the following fall but had to shut it down with another surgery. Then I came back in April 2008 but couldnΣt even make it all the way through a playoff series because of the pain. I did everything right that summer in terms of letting the knee rest before I started to rehab it again, but in the fall of 2008, just weeks before training camp, I needed another operation to clean me out of this little irritation I was having back in the knee. Next thing I knew, we were halfway through the seasonηJanuary 2009ηand not only hadnΣt I come back yet, I wasnΣt even close to coming back. I wasnΣt even weeks away from coming back. I was still basically at Ground Zero. The pain in my knee was still there and kept me from getting any better. I was losing it.
At that time, the team had a road trip coming up. To Miami. You think the city is known for its mamacitas, right? Well, to me, thatΣs the city where my miracle happened. I was at my witsΣ end before the trip. My strength coach, Drew Cleary, convinced me to make the trip because he knew a guy down there who works with the Heat, Dr. Harlan Selesnick. Dr. Selesnick had worked on Scottie Pippen before, and Drew used to train Scottie, and he raved about how good the doctor was.
Plus, it was Miami. You donΣt want to miss Miami. Thank God his office wasnΣt in Minnesota or Milwaukee or something.
When we got to Miami, little did I know the answers to my prayers were right around the bendηand I just snapped.
I got to warn you, this next part is a little bit like Eddie Murphy in Delirious without the funny, but I have to tell it like it is. I was cursing like Dave Chappelle acting out the Rick James couch story.
So I was in the locker room a day or so before the Wizards played the Heat and it was me, Brendan Haywood, and Drew just hanging out. Koichi Sato, another trainer I was working with, came in and asked me to work out. And I just flipped out. IΣd just had it. Think of any melt down youΣve ever seen in a movie or any coach going bonkers at a press conference, roll them into one and that was me. I just flipped out and I was like, ¬You know what? Screw this rehab. Screw everything you guys have done to me. This is some BSηthatΣs not the word I used, but there could be kids reading this. In fact, there should be kids reading this. If youΣre a parent, give this book to your kids when youΣre finishedη¬and with all this working out IΣve been doing IΣm still not getting anywhere. You guys have done screwed up my career.‾
Brendan was like, ¬Oh, man, I got to leave . . .‾ and I just went on and on and on. When a seven-foot, damn near 270-pound man is running for cover, you know how bad it was.
I said, ¬If this is how itΣs going to be, I need to retire. At least save the team some money so they can go out and get some better players so I donΣt look like a damn jackass holding the team hostage for six damn years.‾
I said it and I meant it.
¬Man, IΣm thinking about retiring now.‾
So Drew stepped in. Drew is more than just a strength coach to me. HeΣs a friend. A couple years back, Adidas had this ad campaign idea for me that was all based around me improvising. Now, IΣm an entertainer, but believe it or not, I get camera shy sometimes. I didnΣt want to just be acting like a fool by myself, so I made Drew be an extra in the commercials and put on a full-body lobster suit and do a bunch of other crazy stuff with me on camera. He saved the commercial shoot that day and he may have saved my career down in Miami.
I stopped my rant and I agreed that we could see the doctor the next dayηprovided I was awake in time. Now, every time I saw a doctor, it seemed like they only made my knee worse. The reason I was flipping out in the first place was because, the day before we left for Miami, I got an MRI and they said I might have a crack back there that some swelling moved into and they might have to go into my knee for a fourth surgery. I just said, ¬You guys are going into my knee for everything. ItΣs not like the fridge where you grab the lunch meat, close the door, and then change your mind and go back in there to get the Sunny D.‾
But I was actually up in time the next morning, so we went. Dr. Selesnick asked me to tell him how I was feeling and what was bothering me, and I told him the whole spiel. The first injury came from having Gerald Wallace falling into me. The second was from just plain rehabbing too hard, too soon. The third, which not a lot of people know, came in the first round playoff series against Cleveland in 2008 when I got this cortisone shot for my wrist after I hit it against LeBron James. It might have fixed the wrist, but during the course of the game I messed up my knee. I couldnΣt feel it because the cortisone for the wrist had left my whole body numb. The next day I felt a little pinch in the back of my knee and it had been bugging me ever since. From all the way back in Game 2 of the playoffs in April 2008 all the way up to January 2009, my knee had been bothering me and no one could tell me what it was.
Dr. Selesnick was like, ¬Hold your thoughts on that question, IΣll tell you what it is.‾ Then he started looking at my knee.
I was conditioned to think the worst. ¬Man, now I need a full surgery?‾
He was like, ¬You donΣt need a full surgery. ThereΣs nothing wrong with you. You donΣt even need a cleanout. From your second surgery to now, nothing has changed. You probably didnΣt even need to third surgery to clean it out.‾
IΣm thinking, ¬YouΣre meaning to tell me I wasted all this time?‾ That got me madder right there. IΣd missed the whole season for no reason.
Long story short, he said what I was feeling in the back of my knee was my popliteus muscle. I was like, ¬Papa Smurf? What? Is this guy making up body parts?‾ The only reason he said he was so sure was he had just written an article about that muscle a week before I came to him. Apparently, all these people are getting these surgeries looking for something that you canΣt actually see. You donΣt need the muscle, but if itΣs irritated it will bother you forever.
So I said, ¬How do you take care of it?‾
He said all you do is shoot some cortisone in it and youΣll be fine.
IΣd already had some bad luck with cortisone, and everybody was a little skeptical. My trainer was like, ¬It canΣt be that easy.‾
Dr. Selesnick said he had seen the injury pop up in jai lai players. He said the way those players twist their bodies they always get that injury, so he saw it all the time. He shoots the cortisone and he never sees those people back complaining. He said if they do come back, they just shoot it again and itΣs taken care of.
For those of you who donΣt know what jai lai is, donΣt worry; I didnΣt either. ItΣs basically like lacrosse without the shafts. Players just hold the basket part of the lacrosse stick in their hands like little scoopers and whip the ball around.
I said, ¬Okay.‾ I was ready to try it. Might as well, right? When youΣre talking about retiring, youΣre pretty desperate.
The doctor was telling the Washington trainer how to do the procedure and where to administer the shot, and I was looking at him like, ¬Can you do it right now? Please?‾
He was like, ¬You want me to do it?‾
¬Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Go ahead and do that.‾
So he did it. Boom. Just like that. Next he told me, ¬Go in that range where it bothers you.‾ So I started to squat and all the damage was gone. I was like, ¬I donΣt feel it.‾
He was like, ¬Okay, run.‾
¬I canΣt run.‾
¬Just run up and down.‾
I tried it and all of a sudden I was running better than before.
I was like, ¬Hold on, wait a minute. DonΣt go there because I ainΣt with it. YouΣre telling me what you just did got me squatting a little bit further and running a little bit better than two years of rehab did for me. Even if this is a hoax right now, IΣm happy. At least you showed me something different. You gave me some type of hope.‾
After the doctorΣs office we went straight to American Airlines Arena for the game. I was around Brendan and everybody whoΣd seen me have my tantrum the day before and they were like, ¬YouΣre kind of happy.‾ So I told them the story and they started laughing. I canΣt blame them. One day IΣm retiring, the next day IΣm saved.
I went on the treadmill during the game and stayed on it the whole time, pretty much. At this point I weighed 234 pounds. We played Miami, we went to Philly the next day, and then we went back home. By the time we went back home I was down to 218 pounds. I could finally work out the right way. I could hit the treadmill, I could ride the bike, I could do everything.
As happy as I was, I was also still angry. I was angry because a whole season went down the drain, and the whole time I felt like I was some kind of experiment doll.
The Eddie Jordan Firing
At that point in late January, I didnΣt want to come back. I felt I was robbed of a whole year of my dream job. It was a year where it seemed like I could have played. We were 9ª37 but we might as well been 9ª370. On the other hand, I looked at it as a blessing in disguise. As bad as the year was for me so far, it was about to get better, and Eddie Jordan wouldnΣt be around anymore, either.
I donΣt like talking bad about people, especially people who helped me in my career. (Even though Eddie probably didnΣt want to help me; it was more like he had to.) But it really would have been tough to play another year under Coach Jordan.
I donΣt think Eddie deserved to get fired. I really donΣt. But the Wizards made their decision and it basically freed my mind. There were a couple other players who, like me, didnΣt think they were getting a fair shot under Eddie.
Eddie and I just had our differences. Maybe he thought I got too much of the credit. Maybe I thought we werenΣt playing to our strengths. When I was in the lineup, our relationship might have been icy, but we won, so thatΣs all anybody really cared about at the end of the day.
Then I got injured and I started to get all that flak about how I was hard to coach. For four years I was a basketball player who puts butts in the seats and tallies in the win column, and all of a sudden, because I wasnΣt playing, I was hard to coach. How could I be hard to coach when I wasnΣt even playing? ThatΣs funny. When I was getting ready to opt out of my deal to save the team, I was hard to coach. I was the big enigma around the team. I was a pain in everybodyΣs ass. I was like, ¬I havenΣt said anything to anybody in the last two years. Where is this coming from?‾
The oddest thing was that during this time, all of a sudden me and Eddie Jordan were best friends. I was just like, ¬What?‾ It catches you sideways. For the four years I was playing, if you were going to rate my relationship with Eddie on a ten-point scale, it would be about a three at best. And that was working up from a training camp when I first got to Washington, where we probably started around negative five. So I did make eight points of progress, at least. I know I wasnΣt the guard he actually wanted, so I was fighting an uphill battle. But as soon as I got hurt, me and him were all the way up to a solid eight together.
He was talking to me the whole time I was injured. I guess as long as I was hurt I was cool with him, because he didnΣt have to deal with my play.
Descriere
Hello there. Yes, you. How are you? I am Gilbert Arenas. Thank you for picking up my book and opening the cover. You have just taken a major step toward improving your life. What you hold in your hands is the self-help book to end all self-help books. The lessons found inside helped to take me, Gilbert Arenas, from being a skinny, overlooked high school basketball player, to being told in college that he wasnΣt good enough to start, to being an NBA superstar.
I went from zero to hero. In fact, I went from zero to hero to Agent Zero.
Who knows where this information will take you! Look where I am, and I didnΣt have the advantage of having all this imparted to me in a book.
Want to learn how to stay motivated each and every day of your life?
Want to learn the best way to shoot a free throw?
Want to learn how to speak to a woman like Agent Zero?
All these answersηand many othersηare inside.
My book is stuffed full of stories, tips, and anecdotes that will make you think, make you laugh, and make you cry (hopefully from laughter). I like to enjoy my life, and I think you will enjoy my book.
If you are a longtime Gilbert Arenas fan, buy this book. If you are or know a sports fan, buy this book. If you are hot and in need of a fan, buy this book and wave it back and forth in front of your face on the way up to the cash register to buy it.
Score Like Agent Zero is conversational, sometimes controversial, and always laugh-out-loud funny. I canΣt guarantee that this book will help you score sixty points, but it will allow you to score an all-access pass into my mind and to the secrets behind my success.
All the information is in here. I wrote the book. Now you just have to read it.