Sex, Sprouts & Spiders Read yourself happy Melissa is the bar manager of The Olde Flagon Inn, an eighteenth century public house high on a hill in deepest darkest Somerset in England. The Landlord and cook Bruno, is an eccentric Colombian man who owns a whole menagerie of animals including Goosey and Lucifer (groin chasing geese) and a Dennis, a suspected steroid abusing goat. Working with Bruno and Melissa are Charlie and Marlena. Charlie is the assistant cook, a bubbly, pretty sixteen year old and Marlena is a statuesque Polish girl who is hell bent on 'servicing' every man with a pulse within a 5 mile radius. Sex, Sprouts & Spiders is a hilarious read about Melissa's quest for a man, more specifically for a man who is completely unavailable. En route to trying to get this man the reader will follow Melissa's life, meet the strange characters who frequent The Olde Flagon Inn, meet her winking dog, observe her braving numerous spider encounters, see her getting stuck on a toilet, find out about musical testicles, get groped by a ghost and go on two blind dates - one with a man with two plaster casts. This book is for anyone who hates spiders but loves to smile. Probably the funniest thing since Bridget Jones' Diary