When I was thirteen years old, I found out that I was slowly going blind. In 1999, I was diagnosed with a degenerative, genetic eye condition called Retinitis Pigmentosa. This condition will leave me mostly, if not completely, blind. As a teenager who felt I could see fine, going blind felt far away. Now, at age thirty-two, I have lost the majority of my peripheral vision and going blind feels anything but far away. If you are going blind and wonder how in the hell you are supposed to cope with this, my story is for you. If you love someone who is going blind and wish that you knew how to help in some way, my story is for you. Humour has been my best friend in coping with my vision loss. Through this memoir I plan to express, with sometimes humiliating levels of honesty, what slowly going blind feels like on a day-to-day basis. My hope is that by parading my shame, anger, frustration and comedic moments publicly, I will get a few laughs and spread some awareness about vision loss. You may not win friends with salad, but you do win friends with comedy.