"You may think something's gone just because you can't see it anymore but it's still there, lurking. Waiting. Now here I am, after dinner, dashing to the scales again as the thing inside of me is waking up after a long sleep. It's not weakened by its five-year absence - it's revived, revitalised, stronger than ever." When April's sister commits suicide she copes with it the only way she feels she can: by falling back into an unhealthy relationship with food. The eating disorder takes over her life, consuming her to the point where she can no longer remember who she used to be. In her denial, April can't see that she is doing anything wrong. She feels she is completely in control of things, when really the illness is in control of her.