Prison humor from an old jail guard. The Author is a retired Prison Guard who resides in Western New York State. Everyone came to jail for various reasons. I was hired as a jail officer. I felt I could make a positive difference in the lives of especially the younger first time offenders. I began one of the biggest and longest lessons of my life. Humor is one positive outlet of inner tensions for both Inmates and Officers. This book is about the humorous side. I ended up working on the prison farm. The Farm was an outside the prison walls work program that would hopefully be enough of a lesson for the guys not to come back to jail. Fernando was mentally slow and very gullible. Tiny was a huge guy with a humorous side and a donut addiction. Gary was a talented Carpenter with a drinking problem. The Farm House Mouse proved how many guys were terrified of mice including me. Floyd was a salesman of illegal substances with no common sense. The Axe man was a tree murderer with a no nonsense mom. Everyone had a nickname and that also included the Officers. I made sure the farm inmates had enough donuts and that got me in trouble at times. Before Billy had come to jail he had had school and family problems and like so many others numbed his mind with alcohol; except he was not a happy drunk and had too many buttons to push.