Thankfully, I did not see much blood coming from my abdomen after giving myself a stab wound in my drunken state But what I did not know was, I was bleeding internally
My journey begins in what seemed to be, growing up in a stable home. I had seemingly, superstar parents. My father 's religious upbringing led him to live by the motto, "Cleanliness is next to godliness." He raised my siblings and I in a home that was tidy and clean. He would say "The floor should be clean enough to eat of off." Sometimes my dad could have a temper. He was a Korean war veteran who had lost a leg and an eye in battle. But underneath his own troubles, my father had a loving heart. His family was his treasure. My mom always appeared to me as an angel from heaven. She was soft spoken and always brightened our home with all her lovely decorations for every holiday of the year. My siblings and I considered her to be our anchor of support. But after both of my parent's deaths. I had to ask myself, "Why did I start sneaking hard liquor out of my parent's cupboards at age sixteen, before I went to school." My chronic alcoholism went on for thirteen years. The first year I began drinking, I had to have my stomach pumped because of an overdose. It finally ended thirteen years later, with a suicide attempt. A knife in my stomach. I stopped drinking in the early years of my marriage. For many years, I blocked out these memories and went on to focus on raising my children. Later, I came to a revelation about my mother after certain circumstances made me recall something my dad had said to me in one of our last phone conversations to one another. He briefly said to me in a serious, quiet tone, "Your mother, she is not as she seems " I did not have a clue as to what he meant at the time.
After recovery from alcoholism, I raised a son with severe autism and celiac disease. I am convinced that he endured havoc on his immune system from the childhood vaccines. My sweet natured, Kyle, is primarily non-verbal and wears diapers. We have gone through stages of Kyle being a flight risk, to having a teacher who locked him in a closet. Before Kyle's celiac disease diagnose and putting him a very restrictive diet, including the gluten free diet, he was viciously attacking me. He would pinch extremely hard and dig his nails into me. This left me with huge bruises and claw marks. The frustrating part about this is that no one except for one doctor, who had an autism child himself would listen to me when I said, "He attacks me after eating food " Most physician's consider autism a neurological disorder that affects their cognitive thinking and sensory processing. It is considered a developmental disorder. There is much more to it. Havoc is going on in their entire bodies Most of them have gastrointestinal problems, immune deficiencies, and a dysfunctional detox process. It is poisoning Kyle is extremely sensitive to medications and most supplements. They make his issues worse. After taking the medication dicyclomine for his irritable bowel issues for over a year, Kyle had an obsession to control everyone around him. He would push me around from one chair to the next. He would push me in and out of bed. Kyle banged on doors until he sprained his ankle. It was if he had gone insane It took many months for the medications to get out of his system. But thankfully they finally did. He is back to the sweet young man with low functioning behaviors that we are familiar with. But the stress of all this, left me with a subsequent addiction of food bingeing. I gained a lot weight. But with diet, exercise and some special alternative methods. I was able to turn my body image around. I have lost 80 pounds and still counting. I live one day at a time