About the book "Swans And Swine" When Larry Henares tells the life story of the various personalities he encounters, he is at his best and at his wittiest. Taking off from his magnificent essay "Sunrise, sunset, swiftly go the years" on her daughter Elvira's life as a student and as a bride in a previous book, he now speaks of his daughter as a clone of his mother and one of a kind, as she struggles to conquer her fear of failure. And oh, the true story of how Secretary Ting Jayme owes his place in history to The Big Sleep, falling asleep when Marcos was making a major policy speech, and sounding a clarion snore against tyranny and Martial Law. Of course when he writes of Miriam Defensor, he delves into her first night of honeymoon when her concept of zero population growth conflicted with her husband's violent libido, even goes back to when she marched off her siblings in a single file to and from school. His description of Jose de Venecia as Yoda the Jedi Knight and Garfield the dog-hating cat, with eyebrows like quotation marks, and eye bags that look more like luggages, is irreverent but not insulting, driving Joe himself to self-deprecating laughter. But then best description is that of the head of the Council of Trent, "a sloping forehead, a bulbous nose trying to say hello to a weak receding chin, and occupying the space reserved for the mouth which is driven twisted to the side; a villainous convexity of a face, and a squint acquired from a lifetime habit of peering though darkened windows, preparatory to an act of thievery." His "Mad Max, Blue Max, Beta Max" and "Max's Fried Chicken, the little bird is dead" are masterpieces of satire that will live forever as the ultimate put-down, according to JV Cruz. In the second part, "Perspectives," he again vents his spleen and comic satire on the Opus Dei and Bernie Villegas, the CIA comic books, the Makati Business Club, the Americans at iba pa, and a specially informative essay on Sex Change operations. You will be shocked, you will be delighted, you will be tickled to hysterical laughter. TABLE OF CONTENTS PERSONALITIES - p6 CHAPTER 1. Dr. Elvira Henares Esguerra - p6 Part 1. In my daughter, my mother lives again - p6 Part 2. Scared to take an exam she might fail - p7 Part 3. Elvira called upon the ghosts of heroes for help - p8 Part 4. We are the family of Sta. Elvira - p9 CHAPTER 2: Vicente "Ting" Jayme, in that sleep what dreams may come - p11 CHAPTER 3: Miriam Defensor Santiago - p13 Part 1: Lady Miriam is losing her cool - p13 Part 2: Three lipos no effect on beer barrel belly - p14 Part 3. Miriam's Achilles Syndrome - p15 Part 4: In bed Miriam believed in abstinence, her husband in violence - p16 Part 5: In UP, Miriam and Joma exposed Agent Orange - p17 Part 6: Miriam, a whirling dervish full of hubris and chutzpah - p18 Part 7: Lady Miriam is Atilla the Hen - p19 CHAPTER 4. Jose de Venecia, Speaker - p20 Part 1. Portrait of Joe de V as Yoda and Garfield - p20 Part 2. Joe the Venetian cooks Lutong Macao? - p21 Part 3. Joe de V, peacemaker and moving spirit - p23 Part 4. Joe de V, jumping from peak to peak - p24 Part 5. Joe de V was anointed two years ago - p25 Part 6. Below the belt is the wife's domain - p26 CHAPTER 5. Teddyboy Locsin - p27 Part 1. To Teddyboy, the earth is a ball - p27 Part 2. Long Kiss of Teddyboy and Betty Go - p28 CHAPTER 6. Cesar Buenaventura and Tet Garcia - p30 Part 1. The Villainous Concavity of a Face - p30 Part 2. A Message to Bea - p31 Part 3. Barclays, MB Finance - p32 Part 4. Julius Cesar, God and Emperor? - p33 Part 5. Crony Cesar lords it over government - p35 Part 6. Before Joker was Tet's Offensive - p36 CHAPTER 7. Redentor Romero, violinist, lanlandet, patpata - p38 CHAPTER 8. Max Sullivan - p40 Part 1. When a friend becomes a fiend, Babu takes over - p40 (more inside the book)