An elderly lady says to her Grandson, "There are two words you should never use. One is swell and the other is lousy." He says "OK, Grandma, what are the two words?" This book is about what to say and what to do, on various occasions. It's fun to learn these rules. They'll give you self-confidence and also show you how to enjoy social warmth. There are rules for how to talk to your teachers -- and the bus driver. There are very specific routines for you to follow when attending a wedding or a funeral. This book explains, with humor, why certain rules of etiquette exist, and how they can be useful to you. The author often chats about how a rule came about, and how you could guess the right way even if you had never encountered the situation before. One of the best chapters is entitled "Protocol at the Podium," telling you what your responsibility is, if you are Master of Ceremonies at a school event and a dog walks out on the stage. There are also chapters on: What message your posture and body language gives What questions you should never ask What to look out for in a fancy restaurant When a thank-you note is absolutely mandatory Boys can learn a few things here about "how to handle a woman," and how to lose gracefully in sport. The book is peppered with quotes from Shakespeare that will help you remember the etiquette item and give you a taste for drama as well