In 1914, Modernist pioneer Gertrude Stein published the original Tender Buttons, a Cubist work of art that has been equally celebrated, lauded, puzzled over, and on at least one occasion thrown across a room in pure frustration. Possibly. Of course today we know that true success is only found when something grand (or something that happens to be a cartoon from the 1980s) is given unnecessary sequel after sequel, a line of action figures, and multiple websites for fans and trolls alike to argue and threaten violence upon one another with. It's in such spirit that we proudly present this high calorie fast food meal. Because if it was a book nobody would touch it. So come one Come all Step right up and feast upon this irreverent tale of the grammar police as they battle their way through a hostage situation unlike any the world has ever known Chock full of surprises, twists, punctuation, words in various arrangements, and the sort of name dropping Hemmingway would point out as, "Wait? Why I am I being quoted here. I never said this."