The Ascent of a Barbarious Court Squatter portrays the intelligent ruminations of a charismatic madman. The tennis court, the court of law, the court of life, and the elusive court of love... Some people have accused me of being a bonafide wordsmith. Others feel I talk too much. I don't think everything has been said yet. My books are one way of dealing with that. The yarn is a poetic, edgy, and avant-garde novel that is guaranteed to accelerate your emotional IQ. Jacque D'Artichoke, J.D., is an unemployed romantic who has been "alone" for several dozen years. He is trapped in a flight-or-fight sense of arousal with negligible release. As he approaches middle age, Jacque is paralyzed by his perceived rejection from love. This book illuminates the psyche's triumph over the chokehold of human need. Jacque internalizes the competitive sports mindset to combat his loneliness. He boasts cocky adventures from a 20-year, competition tennis odyssey and whacky travails while surviving law school. D'Artichoke has reason to fear that his alter-ego, tennis rival could be persuaded to go cannibal on him if he doesn't take precautions. D'Artichoke experiences his flashy tennis coach before and after his coach becomes a convicted, armed robber. In law school, a redhead intervenes with Jacque's entire collection of Hanes briefs merely because he places a purple bell pepper... But Jacque's action is arguably justifiable. The Ascent of a Barbarious Court Squatter details the unifying bedazzlement of D'Artichoke's hometown, San Francisco. D'Artichoke fosters a thinly disguised motive for attending Bikram Yoga and he guesstimates that the surfer's ambiance even out-poses the tennis stylist. Jacque forces a truth serum down his psychiatrist's throat to solidify a genuine social conscience for the less fortunate. This social justice platform will appeal to all humanitarians who want to change the world for the better. Specific social justice themes include the irony of homelessness, the vicious cycle of inner-city youths' inter-generational ineptitude, the elusive quest for world harmony, challenges for undocumented immigrants, and humorous testimonials of the ethical necessity for self-preservation through sensible diet. Environmental global warming is a micro theme that is poignantly noted with shocking humor. The book is part metaphysical discussion. It delves into inspirational psychology that cannot be explained by empirical science alone. Four eccentric personas within the human psyche are Jacque D'Artichoke, The Eghost, G-d, and Sir Arthur Stackerazz. By adopting them, Jacque resolves his intimacy deprivation solely from within. D'Artichoke brings remarkable closure to his prodding conundrum without even splurging on a mocha date. The novel offers a foolproof prescription for winning against disheartening odds. The donned personas truly ward off the author's emotional destitution. The reader can similarly don these distinctive traits and quelch any adverse scenario of his or her choice. I'm telling you, this is your black book of strategy The four personas vie for hierarchical dominion over the self. Six hotly debated existential questions are posed to Sir Arthur Stackerazz, G-d, Jacque D'Artichoke, and the Eghost for humanity's best chances to triumph against extreme adversity. Of course, there are official first through fourth place winners with 100 pizzas awarded for each perfect response. Um, pulmonary unit? Yet, there are also unofficial, individual question winners who may still be indispensable to humankind's flourishing. Browse jartichoke.com. Please know that most of the people, situations, and events depicted in this novel are absolutely real Try becoming your own maverick at home. You were born to transform. "Browsers show up in North Beach for the controlled thrill of out-maneuvering misadventure... Ralphed, two buck chuck settles unevaporated and putrid. Foot away, a knit couple nosh"