Why is there so much conflict around sexuality? How does a relationship that began with joy end up feeling like a chore? Why is attraction so seldom reciprocated? And what, if anything, does online dating have to do with love? In The Authentic Lover, you will discover the four great enemies of love: violence, pettiness, vanity, and our reproductive agenda. If we can overcome these formidable enemies, nothing more keeps us from the vast experience of unconditional love. Starting from the raw data of evolutionary psychology and other modern research, this book takes us on a journey through traditional wisdom, Rumi's poetry, samurai culture, and the dry humor that comes from firsthand experience. A picture emerges both of the pitfalls we all face as humans, and of the corresponding opportunities we always have at hand, but rarely tap into. The Authentic Lover shows a path for us to realize our birthright to love in a full and spontaneous way, free of unwanted ancestral, cultural, and emotional baggage.