If you've ever heard a Jewish, Italian, Irish, Libyan, Catholic, Mexican, Polish, Norwegian, or an Essex Girl, Newfie, Mother-in-Law, or joke aimed at a minority, this book of Guard jokes is for you. In this not-so-original book, The Best Ever Book of Guard Jokes; Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who, Mark Young takes a whole lot of tired, worn out jokes and makes them funny again. The Best Ever Book of Guard Jokes is so unoriginal, it's original. And, if you don't burst out laughing from at least one Guard joke in this book, there's something wrong with you. This book has so many Guard jokes, you won't know where to start. For example: Why do Guards wear slip-on shoes? You need an IQ of at least 4 to tie a shoelace. *** An evil genie captured a Guard and her two friends and banished them to the desert for a week. The genie allowed each person to bring one thing. The first friend brought a canteen so he wouldn't die of thirst. The second friend brought an umbrella to keep the sun off. The Guard brought a car door, because if it got too hot she could just roll down the window *** Did you hear about the Guard who wore two jackets when she painted the house? The instructions on the can said: "Put on two coats." *** Why do Guards laugh three times when they hear a joke? Once when it is told, once when it is explained to them, and once when they understand it. ***