""There's more wisdom in these pages than in an airlift or convoy of Chinese fortune cookies. John's take on late-night comedians and the news is alone worth the modest price he's charging for opening our eyes and ears to some good 'ol truths from the school of hard knocks. I just wish he'd written this sooner; it might have saved my life."" --Bill Moyers ""This book is proof that John Hayes is far more interested in saying something true than in saying something agreeable. If you have ever worried about the way your toenails look as you get older-or about how to live with integrity in a world full of scoundrels and a few good friends-you will find companionship in this volume. What sets it apart from others in its genre is Hayes's aversion to sentiment and cliche. Every page of this book is as tart as a pickle."" --Barbara Brown Taylor author of Leaving Church and An Altar in the World ""I am recommending this slim volume, but with qualifiers. Do not read rapidly. This book consists of only fifty-two pieces, but they are not pieces; each one is whole and complete. I recommend one a day. But fast or slow, you'll be seduced. Like philosophy? Plato is here but he often sounds like an Alabama farmer. Like poetry? Some of these lines soar, but be prepared to land in the old cat's litter box. Like old maxims? They are here, but John may play the flip side, which is also true. As C. H. Dodd said of Jesus' parables, these musings will 'tease your mind into active thought.' Enjoy."" --Fred Craddock Bandy Professor Emeritus, Emory University ""John Hayes knows how to make people laugh and think at the same time. Both scholar and farmer, the author is equally at home with professors or pigs. His style is satirical and earthy, of the genre of Lardner, Twain, and Rogers. If you don't like the humor, enjoy the wisdom. I relish both!"" --Bevel Jones Retired Bishop, United Methodist Church ""Somewhere between Aesop's fables and Damon Runyon's tales, these down home homilies are food for the southern soul-and anyone else who cares to be entertained and edified!"" --Judith Landau, MD President, International Family Therapy Association John H. Hayes is Emeritus Professor of Old Testament at Emory University's Candler School of Theology. He is also the author of Understanding the Psalms and coauthor of A History of Ancient Israel and Judah, 2nd ed., and A New Chronology for the Kings of Israel and Judah.