It is a book relating to a story about a man, a lonely man, who sought solace and hermitage via many mediums. He lived his life in an atmosphere of constant crisis. He knew no other way. It was his only way. This is his story. It just so happens that it could be a story that describes a lot of lives. This story is dedicated to those who can relate to its content and it is dedicated to those individuals, men and women, who need the space to feel and to heal. This is a story of a man who attempted to take his own life upon occasions but discovered renewed strength to face his anger and his rage another way. He was 44 years alive when he discovered a simple decision for a simple program offered by two people in his life that have become his closest friends. Friendship came hard for this man because friendship, required trust. It is hard being up front with people when one's whole life has been one covert operation.