This work examines the relationships between John Milton and Charles Diodati, Thomas Gray and Richard West, and Alfred Tennyson and Arthur Hallam through a critical study of Milton's "Epitaphium Damonis," Gray's "Elegy," and Tennyson's "In Memoriam." It shows how their concepts of otherness and difference from the people around them provided comfort after the loss of loved ones. It discusses Milton's use of Latin to mourn his friend and screen the more resounding expressions of his love while keeping at bay those not ready to understand; how Gray used both Latin and the vernacular to express his grief while conforming to social and religious constraints by also addressing larger concerns; and Tennyson's ability to use the vernacular with complete security to speak out and yet hold back private thoughts about the person he loved.