When his mother commits suicide in the winter of 1992, University of Texas sophomore Joel Grayson represses the circumstances surrounding his death and his fear that he might be responsible. His best friend, James, becomes his lifeline, supporting Joel's attempts to create a space for himself and his art. But his past writhes beneath the surface, ready to seep through the cracks at any moment, leaving him unable to work. As memories of his abusive childhood force themselves to the forefront, Joel reaches out to Adam Atwater, a one night stand laden with possibility. Can Joel find salvation in Adam? Or will he summon the courage to save himself? From the author of the award-winning novel, I, too, Have Suffered in the Garden, comes a story about longing, loyalty and what happens when we lose ourselves in love.