July 2006, the embers that settled internally in my youngest son Lonny were red hot ready to combust into flames but they were different; they took on the form of fatigue, swelling, fever, fainting, weight loss, etc. The one person brave enough to sound the alarm was his aunt, Samantha, who insisted he see a doctor. He didn't tell anyone how he felt but he knew something was wrong. August 2006 I noticed weight loss, shaky hands and twitching in his left cheek but his silence was especially guarded. As we talked the embers floated above him I could tell he was irritated when he said he had fainted a few days ago so I urged him to see a doctor. On my drive home I smelled something unusual burning but dismissed it because I couldn't find the source. Two weeks later my sons, Lonny and Te'Mon came to visit. Lonny seemed to have gained weight but it was weird. Instantly the burning smell returned. Early October he finally saw a doctor that said the "weight gain" was fluid buildup; he prescribed meds and scheduled tests three weeks out. October 18, 2006 at 10:30pm, my sister, Deborah, called and told me Lonny was admitted to the hospital for kidney failure and possible dialysis I didn't want to let her words in. The smoke of denial filled my brain with thoughts that jumped all over like sparks trying to catch fire. I knew something was burning, I just didn't realize it was Lonny I grabbed my keys rushed to the hospital, praying the entire 35 mile drive. I tried to cry because it seemed appropriate, but no tears came. I tried to worry, though none of the thoughts would stick, and then it happened .... www.tanianottanya.com