Goose: noun 1. a large waterbird with a long neck, short legs, webbed feet, and a short broad bill. 2. a twenty-something woman who is 40% sweet, 20% desperate, 20% awkward, 10% crazy and 10% bitch - but always 100% awesome. Lucy James, or Goose as she is known by almost everybody, is like a lot of women in their late twenties - she's got itchy ovaries, eats too much junk food, has a wedding album hidden under her bed and is scared crapless of a possible future of spinsterhood with fifteen cats. Goose isn't greedy. She doesn't want lots of babies, only two. Only two as being the middle child to her horrible older sister and her much cooler younger brother has taught her from an early age that three's most definitely a crowd. And she doesn't want lots of husbands, only one to love her and adore her. One husband...is that too much to ask for Even her psycho bitch sister managed to ensnare one (mind you he is a chubby Ginga with bad teeth so she's not overly jealous of that particular score). The Goose has landed - and she has made quite a dent. Because someone ate all the pies...ok, and all the sausage rolls.