From Adam & Eve to Zabar’s, this humorous survey of Jewish history is the most outrageous and unreliable account of the Jewish people’s wanderings since…the Torah.

“A delightful companion to the Torah, the Talmud, and every history book every written about the Jewish people…a perfect book for anyone who has ever wondered how the heck the Jews got here and where the heck are we going and is it okay to laugh about it all? I’ll follow Kutner to the answer.” —Mayim Bialik, Actor, Author, Neuroscientist

A hilarious read for those with even the most basic level of Jewish knowledge, and the perfect gift for those who want to know more.

The Jews: 5,000 Years and Counting is packed with Jew-facts, Jew-figures, and the original, never-before-seen documents from those who lived through Jewish history. Read the transcript of the Biblical Patriarchs’ and Matriarchs’ Group Therapy Session! Sneak a peek at Moses’ Secret Diary, or check out the awkward “I’m dumping you” text chain from Spain to the Jews in 1492! Collect and trade Rabbi Action Cards!

Covering every major moment in Jewish history from the literal “Beginning” to Tuesday’s rerun of Seinfeld, this book will make you laugh. It might inadvertently make you learn. If you’re Jewish, it will unquestionably give you something to kvetch about.