Does Santa Claus ride a Harley? Is it okay to post nude pictures of your friends all over town if you tell them it's for a good cause? And just what is a placenta anyway? These are the hard questions Gerald Arthur McGuinness faces growing up in the small, confused town of Isely, Colorado. He barely gets the chance to enjoy being born before he's suddenly causing controversy at his own baptism, starring on the cover of Time magazine, and saving Christmas, all by the time he's six. But when he enters high school and joins "The League of Secret Heroes" he realizes the questions and complications of his life are only beginning. Like plunging into the whitewater of the Arkansas River without a raft, Gerald discovers how strange and wonderful life can be on the path to becoming the ultimate legend...