I find that we all want to understand what we can do when facing what seems to be at times an onslaught against us mentally and Spiritually. This can be true for those who have dealt with the thought of not being loved, as I did as a young boy. In my situation then as my "birth Father" was never present, so I thought why would God love me? This can be especially true if there were or are negative feelings, actions or thoughts that could prevent us from moving on towards wholeness. This can be a darkness that seems to loom over us until we can see clearly thee truth - light This I believe can help those who have or are struggling with their relationships. As a grown man now I understand I had been living within "darkness." I did not understand until ten years ago I was walking around being held captive by feelings of abandonment and a "orphan spirit." Until I could begin to understand and be in the process of being released, I would continue to be protect myself from being hurt again Though there was my family and friends I could not really accept their love. Further, my thinking that God loved me was far from my thoughts as a young boy You will read that we cannot move past our "traumas" until we face them and begin the healing process. This document is written from a "male perspective," yet I believe it can of help to a female as well. I want to encourage any sister, aunt, girlfriend, wife to use this as a means to understand their "man." Their may be sections that many not apply to your or loved one's life. I included my service as it could possibly reach out to our veterans, and you could see the events that may relate to them.