Baby boomers' expectations for their marriages are often unrealistic. When their relationship comes up short on romance and sex, but seems long on disagreements and strife, many boomers choose to leave.

THE MARRIAGE BENEFIT is less a book about how to make our relationships better than it is about how our relationships can make us better if we just work on our expectations and improve communications. Harvard Medical School clinical instructor and psychotherapist O'Connell offers a peek behind the door of a marriage therapist, where readers can see that their problems are not unique.

Through wonderfully revealing anecdotes of couples with problems many of us face: long-held bitterness, diminished sexuality, the scars of infidelity, and the search for authentic meaning, O'Connell shows how by respecting each other's individuality, looking for "real" sex, and learning how to play with each other again, we can reap the benefits of the long-term emotional investment we've made.