London, 1894. Albertine Honeycombe never wanted a husband, and certainly not the one with fifteen children that her cousin, Aubrey, is trying to marry her off to. She reinvents herself as Countess Von Dagga, a private detective aiding the upper echelons of women in society. As the Countess, she is a married woman, with a conveniently absent husband who doesn't exist, which allows her far more freedom than being single. When Lord Grendel, from whom she has recovered blackmail letters, is murdered, Albertine is suspect number one - having been the last person to see him. And when the Duke of Erleigh comes looking for her utterly fictitious husband, she realises she has landed herself in hot water, without a tea bag. When Albertine also becomes the prime suspect in her fictional husband's death, things are looking grim. Unless Albertine can prove who murdered Lord Grendel and clear her name, her choices are step-mothering enough small children to start a school or hanging from the end of Her Majesty's rope.