A serial dreamer, Robin McJeffers' CV was a story of failure and disappointment. The path trodden was always the same: interview, employment, success, dreams, door. A new job at the Houses of Parliament will see his life and career change forever, as a chance invite, by a drunken peer, to join in a discussion at The Lords Bar, will lead to him becoming an "Emergency Lord," by Act of Parliament. The resulting "McJeffers Act" enables Robin to oversee various "enhancements" to the Royal Navy. Not least with the creation of a new flagship, the H.M.S Osvaldo Ardilles, and a new name for the arm of service, "The Floaty Boat Brigade." The H.M.S Osvaldo Ardilles will be cobbled together from various pieces of nautical history, including the Mary Rose, as well as numerous fridge and freezer doors. Her power will come from six hundred accountants, trained by "barf" tub rowing champion, "Arthur Pounder." Dangerously unstable and most definitely not seaworthy, she will communicate with the outside world via walkie talkies and pigeons. The name of the game is deception.