When I mention that I work in an emergency room, people usually say, 1. Are you a nurse? 2. Wow. That must be really hard. 3. What's it like? This is what it's like to be an emergency doctor. That teenager puking up two liters of vodka and his stomach lining at triage? Yup. Blood pouring out of a terrified pregnant woman? Call me. And, of course, the patient who no longer has a nosebleed screaming at me across the department, "YOU are the most UNFEELING DOCTOR I have EVER MET " Fun fun fun. Let me peel back the curtain for you. It's not an iron curtain. In the emerg, it's most likely a crummy fabric curtain that too many other people have sneezed on. Come on in.