The following account of my time spent between March 26th, 2008 and March 29th, 2010 is mostly factual, with occasional lapses into poetic license or vituperative anger. Humor is pursued wherever possible to ease the pain of incarceration without losing the message that "crime does not pay"--Goldman/Sachs, Bank of America, or your person or institution of choice notwithstanding. A Special Thanks to Karrie Nitsche for a beautiful cover.