As the trial of terrorist mastermind Abdullah "Johnny Three Fingers" Bin-Al Raheem and his troop of would-be Holy Warriors draws near, someone is trying to kill the Prosecution's key witnesses - with an emphasis on the word 'trying'. But as the FBI races against time to stop this assassin, a patriotic militia group has its own plan to utilize the trial to make a point. From the tropical beaches of the Virgin Islands, to the majestic plains of North Dakota, to the bustling streets of New York City and all points in between, chaos and mayhem reign in The Patriot Plan; fed by the collective misadventures of transplanted Somali militants, Swedish male model mercenaries, misguided conspiracy theorists, ornery iguanas, and even two playful saber-tooth tigers.