The day my 25-year-old son died, the old me died with him. I've been trying to resurrect a new self ever since. This is our story.


In this book and its companion, 'A Son's Pain, ' you will not find me professing victory over grief, nor will you find a guaranteed guide on how to navigate the predefined 'stages' of grief. What you will find is an unfiltered account of our journeys. You'll be at my side as my son's lifeless body falls to my feet, and as I agonize over questions about the suspicious circumstances surrounding his passing. You'll see precious moments of insight and soul-filled expression amid a sea of overwhelming thoughts and sensations. You will witness pain, anger, hopelessness, fear, confusion, and a host of unflattering snapshots from our lives and minds. You will also be with us as we explore love, perseverance, compassion, empathy, budding wisdom, and the beauty of authentic feelings.


In these writings, Austin and I try to make sense of our worlds, with the hope that someday, in some way, our words will make a difference in your life.