A children's book for grown-ups. Eleven-year-old Jeff Greenaway, budding Cold War comedian, connoisseur of Sabrett hot dogs, and scholar of horror movies, has a new obsession: classmate Wendy Waldbaum. So far, except for one wildly ill-timed declaration of love, Jeff has adored her from afar-and fervently believes that the only thing standing in the way of winning Wendy's heart is his tall, rich, and dumb rival, classmate Lee Talbot. The idea that Wendy would want anything to do with a stuck-up jerk like Talbot infuriates Jeff. And when he runs into Wendy weeping in the Mummy's Tomb at the Met, and decides the loathsome Talbot is responsible for her tears, Jeff moved to revenge. And what an act of vengeance Fifteen seconds of payback that would live in Jeff's memory as an eternity. Only belatedly, after finding out his heroics are going to result in his being sent away to a private boarding school, where life is hard, does Jeff find out the real reason for Wendy's sadness. James Howard Kunstler's charming tale takes us back to an age when just holding hands with one's beloved was cause for ecstasy, before any of our hearts were broken-and reminds us that maybe, just maybe, love still really does conquer all.