There are three distinct stages of love. Each is dominated by a specific biochemical. The root of a failed romance and the terrible and even enduring pain it can bring is a result of this special biochemistry.When we become aware of these stages of love and their associated behaviors, and some of these behaviors simply do not serve us, then we are in stronger position to find the one we seek as a life's partner. We can more readily identify what is love, or what could grow into true love, versus what is mainly physical passion and personal attraction. Further, understanding the critical difference between male and female 'brain wiring' and the role of adrenal stress on our learning and memory can offer framework for recovery from a crushing end to a romantic relationship. Understand why a failed romantic relationship can become a form of genuine PTSD itself. But also understand that there is a way out from under the pain. In finding that way, you will have turned pain into purpose.