When I returned home from my latest deployment in the U.S. Army, my life began to fall apart. My nightmares and flashbacks kept getting worse, and I reached the point where I was afraid of sleep. I decided the best days of my life were behind me and decided I was going to take my own life. One night, after heavy drinking, I placed my 1911 pistol in my mouth and said a prayer in my mind. "God, if you're there, save me," but there was no response. I heard a metallic "click" when I deactivated the safety and began to slowly squeeze the trigger. Then I heard a BANG! I dropped the pistol and I looked around me, but there was no blood. The bang I heard was the Bible on my desk falling and hitting the floor. I fell to my knees and asked God for forgiveness. I surrendered to Jesus Christ and asked him to help me. He answered.