Gelmon Wrackworn hates people, and that makes him the perfect salesman. He sells telepathic vacuums door-to-door in a world where door-to-door sales have been outlawed. He follows the motto, "If they don't buy, make them pay." Since he is good at what he does, Gelmon is very much in demand. Many people want him for one reason or another. Reedy Fence, a Telepathic Vacuum Cleaner Salesperson Policeman, wants Gelmon to go to jail. The BleakMaster, a leader in an underground society that tests the limits of technology, wants Gelmon to exorcise some satanically-possessed telepathic vacuums. Gurney, a member of an elite shadow army and literally a shadow himself, wants Gelmon to be his friend. Gelmon's wife just wants him to stop asking her questions she can't answer. And there are many others. Gelmon wouldn't be salesman though, if he gave people what they really wanted.