Bill Gillard is an award-winning teacher of creative writing and literature at the University of Wisconsin Oshkosh. His writing has appeared in dozens of journals, and he is the author of two chapbooks: Ode to Sandra Hook and Desire, the River and the co-author of Speculative Modernism, a study of the literary origins of science fiction, fantasy, and horror. He is the Fiction Editor at the literary magazine, Masque and Spectacle and earned an M.F.A. from Fairleigh Dickinson University. He lives in Appleton, Wisconsin, with his wife and two daughters and is a recovering youth hockey coach. Especially for those unfamiliar with supplication to imaginary omnipotents, it is helpful to page through the entire collection first, stopping here and there to get a feel for how the prayer book unfolds. Practice good breathing habits during this phase. Afterward, and as your devotion matures, it is existentially safest to read this book in its entirety every day, preferably aloud (clothing optional). Then nobody will be able to say that whatever comes next is your fault. You gave it your best shot. You were devout. Pious, even.